Episode 6: The Teenage Mutant Luggage Disaster
Saturday. 6:30 AM. I pulled up to a quiet cul-de-sac in Windham, NH. The booking said: "Ride to Logan. 2 adults, 3 teens. Luggage: 5 bags." Simple math. Until the garage opened.
Out came a teenage boy wearing one sock and dragging a 35” anime-decorated suitcase like it owed him money. Behind him: two sisters bickering about who took whose hoodie, a dad on his third coffee, and a mom yelling “Did you pack the chargers?!”
I got out and popped the hatch.
“Sorry,” Dad said. “One of the bags has a turtle tank.”
I blinked. “As in... live turtle?”
“Yup. He’s an emotional support pet.”
There I was — Black Car Bain, now the unofficial shell-raiser of Boston. I secured the tank like it was high-value cargo and we rolled out.
During the ride, the teens played a chaotic remix of TikTok videos and arguments over who got the window seat. I handed out mints like peace treaties. Meanwhile, the turtle—named Michelangelo—didn’t move once.
We hit Logan with 20 minutes to spare. As they unloaded, the mom looked at me and said, “You’re either a saint or a dad.”
I just smiled and said, “Both, actually.”
