📝 Episode 8: “The Teen With the Turtle — and TSA Trouble”

It was 5:30 AM at Logan Airport, and I was on time (of course). The ride was supposed to be a simple family airport drop-off. Mom in the front. Dad wrangling luggage. And their teenage son—cool kid, earbuds in, hoodie up—carrying... a plastic storage container.

“Is that a hamster?” I asked, regretting it immediately.

He lifted the lid. “Nope. This is Todd. He’s my emotional support turtle.”

Now, I’ve seen a lot behind the wheel of a black car—confessions, proposals, even one guy doing yoga in the backseat (downward dog next to a bottle of Smartwater). But never a turtle with his own carry-on.

At the TSA checkpoint, the family got flagged. Turns out, you need paperwork for reptiles. Mom panicked. Dad argued. TSA called in backup. And Todd? He just stared at me through the window like, “This is your fault, Bain.”

Eventually, they made it through (after a very awkward pat-down of the turtle carrier). I texted later to check on them.

“He made it,” she replied. “And yes, Todd enjoyed his first flight.”

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